Well, citizen, where can I take you?

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Image Not Available for Well, citizen, where can I take you?
Well, citizen, where can I take you?
Image Not Available for Well, citizen, where can I take you?

Well, citizen, where can I take you?

PortfolioPlate 9 from the series "Vulgarités"
Date1841
MediumCrayon lithograph with scraping and hand coloring
DimensionsImage: 239 x 191 mm. (9 7/16 x 7 1/2 in.)

Credit LineThe George A. Lucas Collection, purchased with funds from the State of Maryland, Laurence and Stella Bendann Fund, and contributions from individuals, foundations, and corporations throughout the Baltimore community
Object number1996.48.3883
NOT ON VIEW
Last Updated1/11/24
Image Not Available for Exploiting friendship. My dear Alphonse, I've invited these gentlemen, my friends, to dine at your home. I would like them to taste our champagne, we'll laugh... wait a minute! I've an idea. What if we went to the wood? We could take your barouche and you could lend us some clothes as we only came to pay a simple visite... In the meantime, why don't you give us some cards and some Napoleons to pass the time. Eh? My good Alphonse, dear chap. How about it?
Exploiting friendship. My dear Alphonse, I've invited these gentlemen, my friends, to dine at your home. I would like them to taste our champagne, we'll laugh... wait a minute! I've an idea. What if we went to the wood? We could take your barouche and you could lend us some clothes as we only came to pay a simple visite... In the meantime, why don't you give us some cards and some Napoleons to pass the time. Eh? My good Alphonse, dear chap. How about it?
1837
Image Not Available for Preparing for the baccalaureate. - There are two ways in which you might pass your exams: the first way is to let someone else take your place; the second is to take them yourself. - I would like to take them myself. - Very good!... Do you know Greek? - No. - Latin? - None the more. - Excellent!... Do you know your Math? - Not at all. - What do you know then? - Nothing. - But you've 200 francs? - Of course! - Splendid... You'll be passed next Thursday. - You mean you're going to prepare me in eight days? - What do you think!!!!... It's true that I've taken on the responsibility for your success, but for teaching you... Oh no! Certainly not!!
Preparing for the baccalaureate. - There are two ways in which you might pass your exams: the first way is to let someone else take your place; the second is to take them yourself. - I would like to take them myself. - Very good!... Do you know Greek? - No. - Latin? - None the more. - Excellent!... Do you know your Math? - Not at all.
- What do you know then? - Nothing. - But you've 200 francs? - Of course! - Splendid... You'll be passed next Thursday. - You mean you're going to prepare me in eight days? - What do you think!!!!... It's true that I've taken on the responsibility for your success, but for teaching you... Oh no! Certainly not!!
1837
Image Not Available for The other day, I pulled off another smart trick... I had set up a firm with a capital of ten million francs to exploit top boots in cardboard ... I had placed only eight shares worth a petty 1200 francs... I called together my eight shareholders and held forth in something like the following manner: "Ah! Good-day ye strolling gentlemen, how handsome you are, how fine you seem!" I promised them more cheese than bread, I gave them a 50% dividend, I warmed them up a bit and let them simmer... The following day they couldn't get hold of my shares fast enough, I placed all of them and at the next meeting I said: "The last time I did the books I made a mistake. I forgot to take into account the price of the cardboard and its fabrication. You must return the dividend I gave you, I'm going to hold it back... I put down nothing and kept back the r
The other day, I pulled off another smart trick... I had set up a firm with a capital of ten million francs to exploit top boots in cardboard ... I had placed only eight shares worth a petty 1200 francs... I called together my eight shareholders and held forth in something like the following manner: "Ah! Good-day ye strolling gentlemen, how handsome you are, how fine you seem!" I promised them more cheese than bread, I gave them a 50% dividend, I warmed them up a bit and let them simmer... The following day they couldn't get hold of my shares fast enough, I placed all of them and at the next meeting I said: "The last time I did the books I made a mistake. I forgot to take into account the price of the cardboard and its fabrication. You must return the dividend I gave you, I'm going to hold it back... I put down nothing and kept back the r
1838
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire, doctor. For heaven's sake, do not take this illness lightly! Believe me, you must drink a lot of water, rub your legs and come to see me often... it won't ruin you.... My consultations are free of charge.... You just pay me 20 Francs for the two bottles. For 10 cents I will take the container back.
Robert Macaire, doctor. For heaven's sake, do not take this illness lightly! Believe me, you must drink a lot of water, rub your legs and come to see me often... it won't ruin you.... My consultations are free of charge.... You just pay me 20 Francs for the two bottles. For 10 cents I will take the container back.
1836
Image Not Available for Where reading the Constitutionnel can lead you!
Where reading the Constitutionnel can lead you!
1845
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire at the restaurant. - My God!... By the most appalling error my friend and I forgot to take some money this morning... As you don't have the honor of knowing us, may I offer you as collateral for the 6 francs, 25 centimes we owe you these ten shares of the newspaper La Presse, or perhaps my friend's hat. - I would really prefer your friend's hat!
Robert Macaire at the restaurant. - My God!... By the most appalling error my friend and I forgot to take some money this morning... As you don't have the honor of knowing us, may I offer you as collateral for the 6 francs, 25 centimes we owe you these ten shares of the newspaper La Presse, or perhaps my friend's hat. - I would really prefer your friend's hat!
1836
Image Not Available for A Landlord. - Oh! Mr. de Macaire, you wouldn't turn us out into the street just for being a miserable quarter late with our rent... - Where else should I put you, by devil? - But we've spent 30'000Fr. in your shop!... - That's another reason, it all comes back to me... - And my four poor small children?... - What the heavens is that to do with me. I didn't ask you to have them!...
A Landlord. - Oh! Mr. de Macaire, you wouldn't turn us out into the street just for being a miserable quarter late with our rent... - Where else should I put you, by devil? - But we've spent 30'000Fr. in your shop!... - That's another reason, it all comes back to me... - And my four poor small children?... - What the heavens is that to do with me. I didn't ask you to have them!...
1837
Image Not Available for The President Shouting at the Top of Her Voice. Ladies, you are fromally violating § 3 of our constitution which states that no more than five graduates may talk at the same time... I call you to order... silence! Well, since ringing my bell seems to have no effect, I suspend that meeting and take my hat!... Now you can all do what you want!
The President Shouting at the Top of Her Voice. Ladies, you are fromally violating § 3 of our constitution which states that no more than five graduates may talk at the same time... I call you to order... silence! Well, since ringing my bell seems to have no effect, I suspend that meeting and take my hat!... Now you can all do what you want!
1844
Image Not Available for The Street Tout
The Street Tout
1841
Image Not Available for A classical poet composing an eclogue about the quiet pastoral life... "and these wretched journalists will say that my style is vague. How on earth can you be clear with such collaborators?!"
A classical poet composing an eclogue about the quiet pastoral life... "and these wretched journalists will say that my style is vague. How on earth can you be clear with such collaborators?!"
1840
Image Not Available for Conscript replacement agency. -There's merchandise an' merchandise! You wan' a common replacement, that'll cost yer only 800 F., but I warn yer, they're all swindlers, crooks who don't stay with their regiment, who skedaddle at the first opportunity and who 'ave ter be retrieved.... Would yer like ter make it 1'500 F., take that speciment, it ain't handsome but it's of good composition and it's got papers... As many as yer like an' it don't flinch from six years' service. - Bertrand (aside): You c'n count on it, civilian!"
Conscript replacement agency. -There's merchandise an' merchandise! You wan' a common replacement, that'll cost yer only 800 F., but I warn yer, they're all swindlers, crooks who don't stay with their regiment, who skedaddle at the first opportunity and who 'ave ter be retrieved.... Would yer like ter make it 1'500 F., take that speciment, it ain't handsome but it's of good composition and it's got papers... As many as yer like an' it don't flinch from six years' service. - Bertrand (aside): You c'n count on it, civilian!"
1837
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire before his judges. Very well! Yes, gentlemen, I was rather unfortunate at the Assize Court... but misfortune is always respectable!... moreover, it’s true what has been said, I've a habit of subtracting money, it's easier to excuse me than someone else because it's harder for me to resist my weakness... as for the rest, I am accused of selling lead for gold? Twenty witnesses swear to it. Very well! I deny it forty times and since two denials are worth an avowal it's clear that you cannot find me guilty. (after this brilliant improvisation Robert Macaire is condemned with a maximum sentence).
Robert Macaire before his judges. Very well! Yes, gentlemen, I was rather unfortunate at the Assize Court... but misfortune is always respectable!... moreover, it’s true what has been said, I've a habit of subtracting money, it's easier to excuse me than someone else because it's harder for me to resist my weakness... as for the rest, I am accused of selling lead for gold? Twenty witnesses swear to it. Very well! I deny it forty times and since two denials are worth an avowal it's clear that you cannot find me guilty. (after this brilliant improvisation Robert Macaire is condemned with a maximum sentence).
1837