Lord, what a nose you've given me!

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Image Not Available for Lord, what a nose you've given me!
Lord, what a nose you've given me!
Image Not Available for Lord, what a nose you've given me!

Lord, what a nose you've given me!

PortfolioPlate 9 from the series "Croquis d'expressions"
Date1838
MediumCrayon lithograph
DimensionsSheet: 204 × 297 mm. (8 1/16 × 11 11/16 in.)
Credit LineGiven in Memory of Joseph Katz by his Children
Object number1963.109.31
NOT ON VIEW
Last Updated1/11/24
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire's boarding school. - Professor, here's my system of education. Have an undemanding curriculum so that study lasts as long as possible, give holidays, receive presents at every possible anniversary, and as for the prices, one should be perfectly impartial... - Quite right! They should only be given to the best pupils. - What! Upset the parents! Oh no! Not at all! Prizes shall be given to everybody. To every man his due!
Robert Macaire's boarding school. - Professor, here's my system of education. Have an undemanding curriculum so that study lasts as long as possible, give holidays, receive presents at every possible anniversary, and as for the prices, one should be perfectly impartial... - Quite right! They should only be given to the best pupils. - What! Upset the parents! Oh no! Not at all! Prizes shall be given to everybody. To every man his due!
1837
Image Not Available for Marriage of convenience. - Eh! What? Eloa!!... You've deceived me!... You're not your father's daughter... His title of count is just a fairy tale... Your castles are an illusion, your enormous fortune an enormous joke!!... O tempora o mores!!... - In other words I've been taken for a right mug!
Marriage of convenience. - Eh! What? Eloa!!... You've deceived me!... You're not your father's daughter... His title of count is just a fairy tale... Your castles are an illusion, your enormous fortune an enormous joke!!... O tempora o mores!!... - In other words I've been taken for a right mug!
1837
Image Not Available for Preparing for the baccalaureate. - There are two ways in which you might pass your exams: the first way is to let someone else take your place; the second is to take them yourself. - I would like to take them myself. - Very good!... Do you know Greek? - No. - Latin? - None the more. - Excellent!... Do you know your Math? - Not at all. - What do you know then? - Nothing. - But you've 200 francs? - Of course! - Splendid... You'll be passed next Thursday. - You mean you're going to prepare me in eight days? - What do you think!!!!... It's true that I've taken on the responsibility for your success, but for teaching you... Oh no! Certainly not!!
Preparing for the baccalaureate. - There are two ways in which you might pass your exams: the first way is to let someone else take your place; the second is to take them yourself. - I would like to take them myself. - Very good!... Do you know Greek? - No. - Latin? - None the more. - Excellent!... Do you know your Math? - Not at all.
- What do you know then? - Nothing. - But you've 200 francs? - Of course! - Splendid... You'll be passed next Thursday. - You mean you're going to prepare me in eight days? - What do you think!!!!... It's true that I've taken on the responsibility for your success, but for teaching you... Oh no! Certainly not!!
1837
Image Not Available for The Chevalier des Adrets is the lover of a woman of the world. He is amiable and fervent, he pretends to be passionate and devoted... one day, an alleged bailiff and an alleged bill of exchange fall like a clap of thunder into the midst of the most tender effusion of feeling... "Oh! My God!! The Baron de Wormspire, a so-called friend, has had the impudence to have me thrown into prison... He's ruined my good fortune, separated me from what I love! Oh! Friends!! What are friends?... There's no such thing as a friend!!!..." The poor woman, poor dupe, casts off her jewels, gives him everything she can, borrows, ruins herself, only to discover too late that her knight is only a knight of industry, a right Robert Macaire.
The Chevalier des Adrets is the lover of a woman of the world. He is amiable and fervent, he pretends to be passionate and devoted... one day, an alleged bailiff and an alleged bill of exchange fall like a clap of thunder into the midst of the most tender effusion of feeling... "Oh! My God!! The Baron de Wormspire, a so-called friend, has had the impudence to have me thrown into prison... He's ruined my good fortune, separated me from what I love! Oh! Friends!! What are friends?... There's no such thing as a friend!!!..." The poor woman, poor dupe, casts off her jewels, gives him everything she can, borrows, ruins herself, only to discover too late that her knight is only a knight of industry, a right Robert Macaire.
1838
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire, sollicitor. - We've won, my dear fellow, won on every count! - And about time too. A case which has lasted ten years and has ruined me! - Better late than never! - How much did I get back in the end? - Here you are: The court awarded you 12'000 Fr, we totalled 13'500 Fr in expenses, you only owe me 1'500 Fr. - But that means I lose 1'500 Fr . - Yes, but you've won your case.
Robert Macaire, sollicitor. - We've won, my dear fellow, won on every count! - And about time too. A case which has lasted ten years and has ruined me! - Better late than never! - How much did I get back in the end? - Here you are: The court awarded you 12'000 Fr, we totalled 13'500 Fr in expenses, you only owe me 1'500 Fr. - But that means I lose 1'500 Fr . - Yes, but you've won your case.
1836
Image Not Available for A Landlord. - Oh! Mr. de Macaire, you wouldn't turn us out into the street just for being a miserable quarter late with our rent... - Where else should I put you, by devil? - But we've spent 30'000Fr. in your shop!... - That's another reason, it all comes back to me... - And my four poor small children?... - What the heavens is that to do with me. I didn't ask you to have them!...
A Landlord. - Oh! Mr. de Macaire, you wouldn't turn us out into the street just for being a miserable quarter late with our rent... - Where else should I put you, by devil? - But we've spent 30'000Fr. in your shop!... - That's another reason, it all comes back to me... - And my four poor small children?... - What the heavens is that to do with me. I didn't ask you to have them!...
1837
Image Not Available for Exploitation of love. Oh! My darling. I cannot say how much I admire, how much I caress the charming portrait which you sent me! You even had it embellished with precious stones. What folly!! You mustn't do things like that. It grieves me... And this watch chain. How beautiful it is! How richly decorated!!... I'd like to offer you a nice present in return, something to remind you of our love and happiness... I'd like to give you a lock of my hair...
Exploitation of love. Oh! My darling. I cannot say how much I admire, how much I caress the charming portrait which you sent me! You even had it embellished with precious stones. What folly!! You mustn't do things like that. It grieves me... And this watch chain. How beautiful it is! How richly decorated!!... I'd like to offer you a nice present in return, something to remind you of our love and happiness... I'd like to give you a lock of my hair...
1837
Image Not Available for A good husband. - A total of 27 Fr. 50 Cts. - Very good. Take the bill to my wife who'll pay you... - (this right beggar Macaire isn't half content to have a wife to pay his debts!)... - Yes, I've an excellent wife who works like a slave, deprives herself of everything, who sacrifices her life for me... a wife who adores me. But I'm not ungrateful. She already has eight children and I'd like her to have twelve... - (Bertrand) There's a happy woman!!!
A good husband. - A total of 27 Fr. 50 Cts. - Very good. Take the bill to my wife who'll pay you... - (this right beggar Macaire isn't half content to have a wife to pay his debts!)... - Yes, I've an excellent wife who works like a slave, deprives herself of everything, who sacrifices her life for me... a wife who adores me. But I'm not ungrateful. She already has eight children and I'd like her to have twelve... - (Bertrand) There's a happy woman!!!
1837
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire, salesman in Bibles. - (Bertrand): The subscribers claim that we are swindlers, thieves... I mean purloiners, and they are kicking... er, I mean, turning us out. - (Robert): What expressions to use, you rascal... you must address me more decently or I kick... er, I mean push you out of the door. It's you highfaluting manner, your high pitched twaddle, that riles the subscribers. Stop that! If they throw you out of the door, go back through the rear window... if they slap your face, turn your other cheek... but don't you come back here without subscriptions, or I ... well, never mind!
Robert Macaire, salesman in Bibles. - (Bertrand): The subscribers claim that we are swindlers, thieves... I mean purloiners, and they are kicking... er, I mean, turning us out. - (Robert): What expressions to use, you rascal... you must address me more decently or I kick... er, I mean push you out of the door. It's you highfaluting manner, your high pitched twaddle, that riles the subscribers. Stop that! If they throw you out of the door, go back through the rear window... if they slap your face, turn your other cheek... but don't you come back here without subscriptions, or I ... well, never mind!
1838
Image Not Available for Lion's share. Calm yourselves, gentlemen. We've a hundred louis, eighty of them belong to me, eighteen to Mr. Le Comte de St. Bertrand, that leaves two for the fifteen of you... It's strange, these eternal complaints!! Really, it's just not possible to make such a mistake!... What the devil, gentlemen, we're all honest men, sort things out between yourselves, share the two louis between you, let’s not make a scandal!
Lion's share. Calm yourselves, gentlemen. We've a hundred louis, eighty of them belong to me, eighteen to Mr. Le Comte de St. Bertrand, that leaves two for the fifteen of you... It's strange, these eternal complaints!! Really, it's just not possible to make such a mistake!... What the devil, gentlemen, we're all honest men, sort things out between yourselves, share the two louis between you, let’s not make a scandal!
1837
Image Not Available for Two o'clock. A snack for Azor. What can I do, my dear..... this poor beast only has me, you however, you have the entire world!
Two o'clock. A snack for Azor. What can I do, my dear..... this poor beast only has me, you however, you have the entire world!
1839
Image Not Available for Robert Macaire business agent. - By the devil! It's really admirable of you to break your back to pay off your debts, my good chap, wipe them out at once! - But how? - Good heavens! Bring me your books, I'll put them in order, it's my specialty, we'll settle for a few liabilities, a large number of assets, we'll assemble your creditors, we'll offer five percent to be paid over ten years, you won't give them anything during the ten years, in ten years' time you'll start again, your creditors will be dead, the debts forgotten and nobody will say a word about it.
Robert Macaire business agent. - By the devil! It's really admirable of you to break your back to pay off your debts, my good chap, wipe them out at once! - But how? - Good heavens! Bring me your books, I'll put them in order, it's my specialty, we'll settle for a few liabilities, a large number of assets, we'll assemble your creditors, we'll offer five percent to be paid over ten years, you won't give them anything during the ten years, in ten years' time you'll start again, your creditors will be dead, the debts forgotten and nobody will say a word about it.
1837